I’m so fucking proud of my cousin. Some radio doesn’t see the light of day. But it doesn’t matter. Cuz up late spinning the wheels of steel. I’m so proud. He’s made some important life decisions. I’m just so fucking proud.
A drunk goal of mine was to go see the Central Michigan Chippewas in Mount Pleasant. I stayed with my wife in a German-run bed-and-breakfast near the campus and stadium. It was pleasant. We got a tip that Tennessee is a fine state.
I told Tony to live there. And now he’s living it up in a quaint apartment deep in the heart of Nashville, Tennessee. Actually, you can’t get a Lionheart frequency in the state. No one wants to listen to Lionheart Sound, anyway. I sent my cousin an audio file for his wedding gig. He wrote back and told me about some of the strange, strange laws in Tennessee:
- You can’t shoot or live-tweet any game other than whales from a fast-moving Ford automobile.
- Not more than eleven cougars can live in the same house because that would make up a brothel.
- It’s illegal to use a lasso to catch common goldfish.
- It’s illegal to listen to audio recordings of Bill Cosby.
- You can’t listen to Richard Tattoni’s poems at weddings.
- High-frequency radio is prohibited.